分类
生活记

It Which Trims the Wings

I have made a critical mistake. It has my principles crashed and my oaths deviated. I have lost my identity and have no idea about what to do next or what it will be in the future. I am blind and walk in the open.

Think still, I had made many mistakes, although none of which destroys nearly all beliefs or reveals the worst form of mine like this one does.

I have sought help from many but have got few replies, thus I deeply understand that it should be a personal affair. I am the only one who is able to resolve that affair.

It is by chance or fate that I am granted some piece of leisure to find the solution to that affair. The point is to find out who I am.

I sigh that what would ever last that heavy storm, however, efforts have been made in weeks to retrieve a better understanding of myself.

Even some of my beliefs and principles are ruined, but not all of them are lost. Habits and methodology have been trained and accumulated for years or a decade, from which perspectives extended will reshape my behaviors. I have seen the worst case, hence I have no fear for what is likely to happen next. I have failed to stand on some principles, then not to give up those from now on. It is never too late to trim the wings.

Felt depressed when I bend my principles, therefore I must stick to those beliefs no matter how. Once frustrated when I face my bleak life, therefore I ought to reveal the truth of life and live on it with passion. There is no usual victory nowadays, but keeping in faith should be considered one.

For victory am I allowed to trim my wings.

分类
生活记

重新思考

沉重的一篇。

分类
日志 生活记

奠基石计划

(负能量满满的一篇。)

分类
生活记

权柄

负能量满满的的一篇,请谨慎阅读。

分类
日志 生活记

辛丑#17 | 选择环境

最近,CatchWind 约我出来一起学习,体验了一把在咖啡馆学习的小资生活。偶尔换换环境,学习效率似乎有所提升。看着不常见的风景,给沉闷的生活吹吹清爽的风。

在我的方法论里面,环境是一个被长期忽视的因素。这种忽视是有意而为之,因为我想建立一个在任何环境下都能稳健地运行的方法论,建立一个在极端困难的环境下仍然能维护自我的体系。我也坚信人能否实现理想的决定性因素应当是人本身而非环境。因此,我关于方法论的所有尝试都是在环境提供 debuff 的条件下进行的。但是,和 CatchWind 这两次的感受,也让我重新认识到了环境的重要性。想来,在《Tryment》里面,ReLief 公司的一个议题就是让环境来适应人,而不是让人去适应环境。

之前,基础循环强调在“大环境”中创造适合于行动的“小环境”。现在看来,我的方法论虽不应该依赖大环境,但是还要重视大环境的作用。尽管作为个体很难干涉和改变现有的大环境,但是在可能的前提下,还是应该去选择适合自己发展的大环境。

关于未来的学习。首先是不要满足于现状,而应该勇敢地去往更好的学校,获得更好的环境,看看更高层次的风景。其次是要正确选择展开行动的场所,继续重视在环境中创造适合于行动的小环境。

除了选择正确的大环境以外,还需要在适合的环境中与合适的人做正确的事。实践证明,六个人的大学寝室更像是一种社交场所而非是学习的场所。在这样的场合下很难展开学习。

关于未来的职业发展,因为我不在意薪资的问题,因此无论是大公司还是小公司都可以考虑。但是在考虑小公司时,应该通过面试仔细考察面试官和公司环境,在充分判断自己与公司的技术是否相容,以及公司能否提供个人发展的合适平台之后再作打算。

在金十科技的实习实践证明,如果不能认同公司的代码结构,无法取得生产效率,那么对于公司和自己都不是一件好事。